Mediation Procedures

from Murray High School

  • Honor our RAMPS commitments.
  • We accept that conflicts will arise.
    • Due to Dr. Glasser’s Axiom #2 [All we can give to or get from other people is information.] it is assumed that misinterpretations of one another will occur.
  • We commit to use the following procedure to work out problems with one another.
      • We assume that everyone will have a different, personal VERSION of events and that this is okay.
      • We agree not to attempt to prove which version of events is closest to The Truth because our own versions ARE our truth of what happened.
      • Given the differing versions of what happened, we agree to work together to come up with a plan to feel comfortable together in the community environment.
      • If we can work it out on our own, following the RAMPS commitments, we agree to do so.
      • This means that we commit not to gossip to enlarge the problem, but to go directly to the person we are having a problem with and to set up a “solving circle,” a calm one-on-one discussion where we try to work out a solution.
      • If we cannot work it out on our own because feelings are too high, we can request a 3rd party to help us work it out.
      • The third party can be anyone in the building who is trusted by all parties.
      • A teacher must be present at any third-party mediation, to ensure a safe environment for all involved.

At a third party mediation, we agree to the following procedures.

    1. “A, B and C above”
    2. We agree not to interrupt one another.
    3. We agree not to insult one another.
    4. We agree to avoid comments that begin with “You….” and to use comments that begin with “I…..”
    5. After each person says his/her version of events, each will state what it is that they would appreciate the other person do differently and what they are willing to do differently.
    6. Once all the versions are on the table, we agree to address the needs of each person and to come up with a written plan to help all of us live together comfortably.
    7. If any person at the table begins to feel disrespected, they will say so in a calm, respectful way, and the mediation will stop until everyone is calm and feels respected.
    8. If someone refuses to mediate and needs to take longer than 20 min. to get in the frame of mind to mediate, they may go home until they are calm enough and prepared to mediate. This is because all of us have agreed to mediation as a non-negotiable at Murray.
    9. If the written plan does not work, we agree to come back to the mediation table ASAP.
    10. We understand that it may take several meetings before we end up with a plan that satisfies all our needs, so we agree to keep working on it.
    11. We also understand that this process is an important part of creating strong relationships at Murray and meeting our
      needs for love and belonging, power, freedom and even fun!
    12. We go over the rules of mediation together.
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