JOHN IS 14 years old. He is capable of doing good work in school. Yet he reads and writes poorly, has not learned to do more than simple calculations, hates any work having to do with school, and shows up more to be with his friends than anything else. He failed the seventh grade last year and is well on his way to failing it again. Essentially, John chooses to do nothing in school that anyone would call educational. If any standards must be met, his chances of graduation are non-existent.
We know from our experience at the Schwab Middle School, which I will describe shortly, that John also knows that giving up on school he attends will give him a chance to correct this mistake. And he is far from alone. There may be five million students between the ages of 6 and 16 who come regularly to school but are much the same as John. If they won’t make the effort to become competent readers, writers, and problem solvers, their chances of leading even minimally satisfying lives are over before they reach age 17.
Janet is 43 years old. She has been teaching math for 20 years and is one of the teachers who is struggling unsuccessfully with John. She considers herself a good teacher but admits that she does not know how to reach John. She blames him, his home, his past teachers , and herself for this failure. All who know her consider her a warm, competent person. But for all her warmth, five years ago, after 15 years of marriage, Janet divorced. She is doing an excellent job of caring for her three children, but, with only sporadic help from their father, her life is no picnic. If she and her husband had been able to stay together happily, it is almost certain that they and their children would be much better off than they are now.
Like many who divorce, Janet was aware that marriage was in trouble long before the separation. But in the context of marriage as she knew it, she didn’t know what to do. “I tried, but nothing I did seemed to help,” she says. She is lonely and would like another marriage but, so far, hasn’t been able to find anyone she would consider . There may be more than a million men and women teaching school who, like Janet, seem capable of relationships but are either divorced or unhappily married. No one doubts that marriage failure is a huge problem. It leads to even more human misery than school failure.
I bring up divorce in an article on reducing school failure because there is a much closer connection between these two problems than almost anyone realizes. So close, in fact, that I believe the cause of both these problems may be the same. As soon as I wrote those words, I began to fear that my readers would jump to the conclusion that I am blaming Janet for the failure of her marriage or for her inability to reach John. Nothing could be further from the truth. The fact that she doesn’t know something that is almost universally unknown cannot be her fault.
If you doubt that the problems of John and Janet are similar, listen to what each of them has to say. John says, “I do so little in school because no one cares for me, no one listens to me, it’s no fun, they try to make me do things I don’t want to do, and they never try to find out what I want to do.” Janet says, “My marriage failed because he didn’t care enough for me, he never listened to me, each year it was less fun, he never wanted to do what I wanted, and he was always trying to make me do what he wanted.” These almost identical complaints have led John to “divorce” school, and Janet, her husband.
Are these Greek tragedies? Are all these students and all these marriages doomed to failure no matter what we do? I contend they are not. The cause of both school failure and marriage failure is that almost no one, including Janet, knows how he or she functions psychologically. Almost all people believe in and practice an ancient, common-sense psychology called stimulus/response (SR) psychology. I am one of the leaders of a small group of people who believe that SR is completely wrong-headed and, when put into practice, is totally destructive to the warm, supportive human relationships that students need to succeed in school and that couples need to succeed in marriage. The solution is to give up SR theory and replace it with a new psychology: choice theory.
To persuade a teacher like Janet to give up what she implicitly believes to be correct is a monumental task. For this reason I have hit upon the idea of approaching her through her marriage failure as much as through her failure to reach students like John. I think she will be more open to learning something that is so difficult to learn if she can use it in both her personal and her professional lives. From 20 years of experience teaching choice theory, I can also assure her that learning this theory can do absolutely no harm.
If John could go to a school where choice theory was practiced, he would start to work. That was conclusively proved at the Schwab Middle School. To explain such a change in behavior, John would say, “The teachers care about me, listen to what I have to say, don’t try to make me do things I don’t want to do, and ask me what I’d like to do once in a while. Besides, they make learning fun.” If Janet and her husband had practiced choice theory while they still cared for each other, it is likely that they would still be married. They would have said, “We get along well because every day we make it a point to show each other we care. We listen to each other, and when we have differences we talk them out without blaming the other. We never let a week go by without having fun together, and we never try to make the other do what he or she doesn’t want to do.”
Where school improvement is concerned, I can cite hard data to back up this contention. I also have written two books that explain in detail all that my staff and I try to do to implement choice theory in schools. The books are The Quality School and The Quality School Teacher1. Where marriage failure is concerned, I have no hard data yet. But I have many positive responses from readers of my most recent book, Staying Together2, in which I apply choice theory to marriage.
The most difficult problems are human relationship problems. Technical problems, such as landing a man on the moon, are child’s play compared to persuading all students like John to start working hard in school or helping all unhappily married couples to improve their marriages. Difficult as they may be to solve, however, relationships problems are surprisingly easy to understand. They are all some variation of “I don’t like the way you treat me, and even though it may destroy my life, your life, or both our lives, this is what I am going to do about it.”
READERS familiar with my work will have figured out by now that choice theory used to be called control theory because it teaches that the only person whose behavior we can control is our own. I find choice theory to be a better and more positive-sounding name. Accepting that you can control only your own behavior is the most difficult lesson that choice theory has to teach. It is so difficult that almost all people, even when they are given the opportunity, refuse to learn it This is because the whole thrust of SR theory is that we do not control our own behavior; rather, our behavior is a response to a stimulus from outside ourselves. Thus we answer a phone in response to a ring.
Choice theory states that we never answer a phone because it rings, and we never will. We answer a phone – and do anything else – because it is the most satisfying choice for us at the time. If we have something better to do, we let it ring. Choice theory states that the ring of the phone is not a stimulus to do anything; it is merely information. In fact, all we can ever get from the outside world, which means all we can give one another, is information. But information, by itself, does not make us do anything. Nor can she make John do anything. All she can give them is information, but she, like all SR believers, doesn’t know this.
What she “knows” is that, if she is dissatisfied with someone, she should try to “stimulate” that person to change. And she wastes a great deal of time and energy trying to do this. When she discovers, as she almost always does, how hard it is to change another person, she begins to blame the person, herself, or someone else for the failure. And from blaming, it is a very short step to punishing. No one takes this short step more frequently and more thoroughly dm husbands, wives and teachers. As they attempt to change their mates, couples develop a whole repertoire of coercive behaviors aimed at punishing the other for being so obstinate. When teachers attempt to deal with student such as John, punishment – masquerading as “logical consequence:?’ – rules the day in school.
Coercion in either of its two forms, reward or punishment, is the core of SR theory. Punishments, are by far the more common, but both are destructive to relationships. The difference is that rewards are more subtly destructive and generally less offensive. Coercion ranges from the passive behaviors of and withdrawing to the active behaviors of abuse and violence. The most common and, because it is so common, the most destructive of coercive behaviors is criticizing and nagging and complaining are not far behind.
Choice theory teaches that we are all driven by four psychological needs that are embedded in our genes: the need to belong, the need for power, the need for freedom, the need for fun. We can no more ignore these psychological needs than we can ignore the food and shelter we must have if we are to satisfy the most obvious genetic need, the need for survival.
Whenever we are able to satisfy one or more of these needs, it feels very good. In fact, the biological purpose of pleasure is to tell us that a need is being satisfied. Pain, on the other hand, tells us that what we are doing is not satisfying a need that we very much want to satisfy. John suffers in school, and Janet suffers in marriage because neither is able to figure out how to satisfy these needs. If the pain of this failure continues, it is almost certain that in two years John will leave school, and of course Janet has already left her marriage.
If we are to help Janet help John, she needs to learn and to use the most important of all the concepts from choice theory, the idea of the quality world. This small, very specific, personal world is the core of our lives because in it are the people, things, and beliefs that we have discovered are most satisfying to our needs. Be at birth, as we find out what best satisfies our needs, we build this knowledge into the part of our memory that is our quality world and continue to build and adjust it throughout our lives. This world is best thought of as a group of pictures, stored in our brain, depicting with extreme precision the way we want to be treated. The most important pictures are of people, including ourselves, because it is almost impossible to satisfy our needs without getting involved with other people.
Good examples of people who are almost always in our quality worlds are our parents and our children – and, if our marriages are happy, our husbands or wives. These pictures are very specific. Wives and husbands want to hear certain words, to be touched in certain ways, to go to certain places, and to do specific activities together. We also have special things in our quality world. For example, the new computer I am typing this article on is very much the computer I wanted. I also have a strong picture of myself teaching choice theory, something I believe in so strongly that I spend most of my life doing it.
When we put people into our quality worlds, it is because we care for them, and they care for us. We see them as people with whom we can satisfy our needs. John has long since taken pictures of Janet and of most other teachers – as well as a picture of himself doing competent schoolwork – out of his quality world. As soon as he did this, neither Janet nor any other SR teacher could reach him. As much as they coerce, they cannot make him learn. This way of teaching is called “bossing.” Bosses use coercion freely to try to make the people they boss do what they want.
To be effective with John, Janet must give up bossing and turn to “leading.” Leaders never coerce. We follow them because we believe that they have our best interests at heart. In school, if he senses that Janet is now caring, listening, encouraging, and laughing, John will begin to consider putting her into his quality world. Of course, John knows nothing about choice theory or about the notion or a quality world. But he can be taught and, in a Quality School, this is what we do. We have evidence to show that the more students know about why they are behaving as they do, the more effectively they will behave.
Sometime before her divorce, Janet, her ex, or both of them took the other out of their quality worlds. When this happened, the marriage was over. If they had known choice theory and known how important it is to try to preserve the picture of a spouse in one’s quality world, they could have made a greater effort than they did to care, listen, encourage, and laugh with each other. They certainly would have been aware of how destructive bossing is and would have tried their best to avoid this destructive behavior.
As I stated at the outset, I am not assigning blame for the failure of Janet’s marriage. I am saying that, as soon as one or the other or both partners became dissatisfied, the only hope was to care, listen, encourage, and laugh and to completely stop criticizing, nagging, and complaining. Obviously, Janet and her ex-husband would have been much more likely to have done this if they had known that the only behavior you can control is your own.
When Janet, as an SR teacher, teaches successfully, she succeeds with students because her students have put her or the math she teaches (or both) into their quality worlds. If both she and the math are in their quality worlds, the students will be a joy to teach. She may also succeed with a student who does not particularly want to learn math, but who, like many students, is open to learning math is she gives him a little attention.
John, however, is hard core. He is more than uninterested; he is disdainful, even disruptive at times. To get him interested will require a real show of interest on her part But Janet resents any suggestion that she should give John what he needs. Why should she? He’s 14 years old. It’s his job to show interest. She has a whole classroom full of students, and she hasn’t got the time to give him special attention. Because of this resentment, all she can think of is punishment.
When Janet punishes John, she gives him more reasons to keep her and math out of his quality world. Now he can blame her; from his standpoint, his failure is no longer his fault Thus the low grades and threats of failure have exactly the opposite effect from the one she intends. That is why she has been so puzzled by students like John for so many years. She did the “right thing,” and, even though she can see John getting more and more turned off, she doesn’t know what else to do. She no more knows why she can’t reach John than she knows why she and her husband found it harder and harder to reach each other when their marriage started to fail.
FROM THE beginning to the end of the 1994-95 school year, my wife Carleen and I worked to introduce Quality School concepts into the Schwab Middle School, a seventh- and eighth-grade school that is part of the Cincinnati Public School System. (Carleen actually began training many staff members in choice theory during the second semester of the 1993-94 school year.) This school of 600 regularly attending students (759 enrolled) has at least 300 students like John, who come to school almost every day. With the help of the principal, who was named best principal in Ohio in 1996, and a very good staff, we turned this school around.
By the end of the year, most of the regularly attending students who were capable of doing passable schoolwork were doing it3. Indeed, some of the work was much better dm passable. None of the students like John were doing it when we arrived. Discipline problems that had led to 1,500 suspensions in the previous year slowly came under control and ceased to be a significant concern by the end of the school year.
By mid-February, after four months of preparation, we were able to start a special program in which we enrolled all the students (170) who had failed at least one grade and who also regularly attend school. Most had failed more dm one grade, and some, now close to 17 years of age, had failed four times. Teachers from the regular school staff volunteered for this program. Our special program continued through summer school, by the end of which 147 of these 170 students were promoted to high school. The predicted number of students who would go to high school from this group had been near zero. Getting these students out of the “on-age” classes where they had been disruptive freed the regular teachers to teach more effectively, and almost all the “on-age” students began to learn. The “on-age” seventh-graders at Schwab had a 20% increase in their math test scores, another positive outcome of the program.
We were able to achieve these results because we taught almost all the teachers in the school enough choice theory to understand how students need to be treated if they are to put us into their quality worlds. Using these concepts, the teachers stopped almost all coercion – an approach that was radically different from the way most of these students had been treated since kindergarten. When we asked the students why they were no longer disruptive and why they were beginning to work in school, over and over they said, “You care about us.” And sometimes they added, “And now you give us choices and work that we like to do.”
What did we do that they liked so much? With the district’s permission, we threw out the regular curriculum and allowed the students to work at their own pace. We assigned lessons that when successfully completed, proved that the students were ready for high school. The seven teachers in the special program (called the Cambridge Program) – spurred on by the challenge that this was their school and that they could do anything they believed necessary – worked day and night for almost two months to devise these lessons, in which the students had to demonstrate that they could read, write, solve problems, and learn the basics of social studies and science.
We told the students that they could not fail but that it was up to them to do the work. We said that we would help them learn as much as we could, and teachers from the “on-age’ classes volunteered their free periods to help. Some of the students began to help one another. The fear began to dissipate as the staff saw the students begin to work. What we did was not so difficult that any school staff, with the leadership of its principal, could not do it as well. Because we had so little time, Carleen and I were co-leaders with the principal. A little extra money (about $20,000) from a state grant was also spent to equip the room for the Cambridge Program with furniture, carpeting, and computers, but it was not more than any school could raise if it could promise the results we achieved.
THESE Quality School ideas have also been put to work for several years in Huntington Woods Elementary School in Wyoming, Michigan. This nearly 300-student K-5 school is located in a small middle-class town and is the first school to be designated a Quality School. There were very few Johns in this school to begin with, so the task was much easier that at Schwab. Nonetheless, the outcomes at Huntington Woods have been impressive:
All students are doing competent schoolwork, as measured by the Michigan Education Assessment Program ). The percentages of Huntington Woods students who score satisfactorily as measured against a state standard are 88% in reading and 85% in math (compared to state averages of 49% in reading and 60% in math).
As measured by both themselves and their teachers, all students are doing some quality work, and many are doing a great deal of quality work.
While there are occasional discipline incidents, there are no longer any discipline problems.
The regular staff works very successfully with all students without labeling them learning disabled or emotionally impaired.
Even more important than these measurable outcomes, the school is a source of joy for students, teachers, and parents.
I emphasize that no extra money was spent by the district to achieve these results. The school, however, did some fund raising to pay for staff training.
I CITE Schwab and Huntington Woods because I have worked in one of these schools myself and have had a great deal of contact with the other. They are both using the ideas in my books. Huntington Woods has changed from an SR-driven system, and Schwab has made a strong start toward doing so. Moreover, Schwab’s start has produced the results described above. And more than 200 other schools are now working with me in an effort to become Quality Schools.
So far only Huntington Woods has evaluated itself and declared itself a Quality School. Even Schwab, as improved as it is, is far from being a Quality School. But, in terms of actual progress made from where we found it, what Schwab has achieved is proportionally greater that what Huntington Woods has achieved.
While many schools have shown interest in what has been achieved at Huntington Woods and at Schwab, very few of them have accepted the core idea: change the system from SR theory to choice theory. Indeed, there are many successful SR schools around the country that are not trying to change the fundamental system in which they operate, and I believe their success is based on two things.
First, for a school to be successful, the principal is the key. When an SR school succeeds, as many do, it is led by a principal whose charisma has inspired the staff and students to work harder than they would ordinarily work. This kind of success will last only as long as the principal remains. I am not saying that some charismatic principals do not embrace many of the ideas of the Quality School, or that the principal doesn’t have to lead the systemic change that choice theory makes possible. However, once the system has been changed, it can sustain itself (with the principal’s support, of course, but without a charismatic leader).
Second, the SR schools that are working well have strong parental support for good education and few Johns among their students. Where such support is already present or can be created by hardworking teachers and principals, schools have a very good chance of being successful without changing their core system. After all, it is these schools that have traditionally made the SR system seem to work. In such schools, Janet would be a very successful teacher.
While Huntington Woods had the kind of support that would have made it a good school without changing the system, the staff wanted it to become a Quality School and set about changing the system from the outset. With the backing of the superintendent, the staff members were given the empty budding and the opportunity to recruit new staff members, all of whom were anxious to learn the choice theory needed to change the system. The fact that Huntington Woods has a charismatic leader is certainly a plus, but it is her dedication to the ideas of choice theory that has led to the school’s great success. With very high test scores, no discipline problems, and no need for special programs, Huntington Woods has gone far beyond what I believe the typical SR school could achieve. Many educators who have visited the school have said that it is “a very different kind of school.”4
Schwab today is also very different from the school it was. And what has been accomplished at Schwab has been done with almost no active parental support. The largest number of parents we could get to attend any meeting – even when we served food and told them to bring the whole family – was 20, and some of them were parents of the few students who live in the middle-class neighborhood where the school is located. Almost all the Schwab students who are like John are bused in from low-income communities far from the school, a fact that makes parents’ participation more difficult.
At Schwab an effort was made to teach all the teachers choice theory. Then Carleen and I reminded them continually to use the theory as they worked to improve the school. At Huntington Woods, not only were the teachers and principal taught choice theory in much more depth than at Schwab and over much more time than we had at Schwab, but all the students and many parents were also involved in learning this theory and beginning to use it in their lives.
Unfortunately, Janet has never taught in a school that uses choice theory. When she brings up her problems with John in the teachers’ lounge, she is the beneficiary of a lot of SR advice: “Get tough!” “Show him right away who’s boss.” “Don’t let him get away with anything.” “Call his mother, and demand she do something about his behavior.” “Send him to the principal.” Similarly, like almost everyone whose marriage is in trouble, Janet has been the beneficiary of a lot of well-intended SR advice from family and friends – some of which, unfortunately, she took.
Her other serious problem is that she works in an SR system that is perfectly willing to settle for educating only those students who want to learn. The system’s credo says, “It’s a tough world out there. If they don’t make an effort, they have to suffer the consequences.” Since Janet is herself a successful product of such a system, she supports it. In doing so, she believes it is right to give student low grades for failing to do what she asks them to do. She further believes it is right to refuse to let them make up a low grade if they don’t have a very good attitude – and sometimes even if they do.
In her personal life, she and her husband had seen so much marriage failure that, when they started to have trouble, it was easy for them to think of divorce as almost inevitable. This is bad information. It discourages both parents from doing the hard work necessary to learn what is needed to put their marriage back together. Life is hard enough without the continuing harangues of the doom-sayers. In a world that uses choice theory, people would be more optimistic.
There has been no punishment in the Huntington Woods School for years. There is no such thing as a low grade that cannot be improved. Every student has access to a teacher or another student if he or she needs personal attention. Some students will always do better than others, but, as the NIEAP scores show, all can do well. This is a Quality system, with an emphasis on continual improvement, and there is no settling for good enough.
Unfortunately for them, many Schwab students who experience success in school for the first time will fail in high school. The SR system in use there will kill them off educationally, just as certainly as if we shot them with a fun. They didn’t have enough time with us and were to fragile when we sent them on. However, if by some miracle the high school pays attention to what we did at Schwab, many will succeed. There was some central office support for our efforts, and there is some indication that this support will continue.
The Huntington Woods students are less fragile. They will have had a good enough start with choice theory so that, given the much stronger psychological and financial support of their parents, they will probably do well in middle school. Indeed, data from the first semester of 1995-96 confirm that they are doing very well.
It is my hope that educators, none of whom are immune to marriage failure, will see the value of choice theory in their personal lives. If this happens, there is no doubt in my mind that they will be to use it with their students.
(1) William Glasser, The Quality School, (New York: HarperCollins, 1990), and idem, The Quality School Teacher (New York: HarperCollins, 1994).
(2) William Glasser, Staying Together (New York: HarperCollins, 1995).
(3) The school also had about four classes of special education students who were in a special program led by capable teachers and were learning as much as they were capable of learning.
(4) See Dave Winans, “This School Has Everything,” NEA Today, December 1995, pp. 4-5.
This article was published in the American Educational Journal “Phi Delta KAPPAN” (April 1997, Volume 78, Number 8, pp 596-602).
The PHI DELTA KAPPAN is available from Phi Delta Kappa International Inc., 408 N. Union, P.O. Box 789, Bloomington, IN 47402, USA. $39 per year in USA, $42.50 foreign. Single copies $4.90 + $3 processing fee.
Further information from the KAPPAN WEB SITE (www.pdkintl.org/kappan.htm).